Top Ten Tips to Surviving China

So I just got back from China a couple of days ago, and even though it was a pretty decent trip where I stayed in an excellent hotel and had excellent tours planned out for me and my family, I arrived back home in (beautiful, clean, safe) Singapore thinking to myself "Thank goodness I survived it". So I decided to note down to myself just in case I find myself headed back to China again the top tips I need to remember. 

My biggest gripes about China are three things: 

1. The food

2. The people

3. The toilets

Firstly, the food tends to be overly oily and salty, maybe if you eat out all the time it's no big deal, but for someone like me, whose mom is an amazing and healthy cook, this is a helluva big deal. Especially if you head over to the regions like Sichuan (good luck to you mate) or the more mountainous regions, the palette is completely different. 

The people, well there are two sides to them. One side is the smiling and demure bunch who you interact the most with in the service sector. They're the ones who greet you in the hotel lobby or the tour guides who bring you around. The other side belongs to the rest of the locals, especially those from the big cities who are tourists in their own country. They push and shove and talk really loud all the time, even in theatres when the show has already started. 

Now the toilets, are definitely an improvement from when I was younger and first visited China. I remember them not having any doors, and the smell was so bad I would gag every time I visited the bathroom. Now most have doors, though don't count on them being able to close or lock properly. Obviously the ones in hotels and restaurants are fine, but the public ones.... watch out. 

Top Ten Tips (in no particular order) 

1. Always carry with you hand sanitiser. It'll come in handy after you visit bathrooms (when you find you need to hold the door to keep it closed), after you've handled money (their Yuan looks like it's been around 30 years), and definitely before mealtimes. 
2. Pack some of your favourite snacks into your suitcase, maybe throw in some instant noodles for good measure. These will be a lifesaver, best for those times when you're so damn sick of eating mala-everything, or when you feel like oil is about to spill out your nostrils. 
3. Chinese tea is your best friend (when all that oily food is giving you a queasy feeling, the chinese tea like pu-erh will wash it all away), but also your worst enemy (you will need to go to the restroom constantly after you drink it)
4. Wet wipes and tissue packets are essential, maybe more so than hand sanitiser. The public toilets rarely come equipped with them, so you'll definitely need it. 
5. A small vial of perfume/deodorant goes a long way. The smell of a heavily frequented bathroom is enough to knock anyone's socks off. Spritz a bit into the front of your shirt/sweater/scarf and pull it over your nose before you enter. 
6. If you do not speak the language, you definitely have to learn a little bit of basics. Otherwise, be super at charades, although it's hard to imagine how you would tell the locals you need a toilet... 
7. Pack along shoes you don't mind throwing out after the trip. Those brand new converse sneakers are a no-no. They'll end up being so grimy you won't wanna touch them with a stick. I learned it the hard way with my shiny silver glitter Toms. 
8. Always have Yuan on hand. Not all places accept credit cards, or to be more precise foreign credit cards, and more often than not cash is the way to make payments. 
9. Carry bottled mineral water everywhere! Sometimes in restaurants the water is from the tap and your foreign pampered tummy might not be sturdy enough to withstand it, even if it is already boiled. 
10. If people shove you, shove them back. My favourite rule is this one-- if people shove me to get on the bus/train quicker, you have to learn to shove back. When in China... do as the Chinese do. 

All I can say is, damn I'm happy to be home in Singapore.