Happy New Year

A little bit late, but hello 2013!! Twenty one days have come and gone, and yet I'm still tearing out the wrong year on my parking coupons (since I no longer have reason to write the date, I don't get that wrong anymore). Does this mean I would subconsciously rather be in the past? Maybe. Maybe not. Twenty Twelve was an up and down year. Lots of UP moments, but also many DOWN times. But let's focus on the good shall we? Here's to a happier, brighter year ahead. No point to this post at all except to express a desire for moving forward, and of course to remind myself that I was blessed in many ways this last year. MAZAL TOV!

Metal Mouth

I'm miserable right now, because I just got my braces on today. They feel so weird and are super uncomfortable, but I'm trying to think positive, like how beautiful and straight my teeth will be again when I take them off in a couple of months. I say again because I once had super straight and aligned teeth. Since I was young I was never one of those kids who had to look extra awkward at school because of braces or glasses/specs. I was lucky with nice straight teeth, and yes I definitely had done my fair share of mocking metal mouths. Well, karma definitely is a bitch because now I'm a metal mouth. Many of my friends were puzzled when I shared that I was getting braces, because the work is really minor-- just two front teeth that are protruding out a little bit, and a teensy bit on my bottom row. But the thing is, growing up with perfectly straight teeth makes it difficult to accept that little imperfection. I became so self conscious of it that it was affecting my confidence, and I started smiling with my mouth closed. And my dentist did warn me that since the protrusion was due to my wisdom teeth coming out and pushing all the teeth forward, it was only a matter of time till my upper teeth went askew when there is no space left. So I guess for better or worse I'm stuck with a metal mouth for the next few months. Growing up, I always had these big wide smiles in photos, I can't wait till I'm confident enough with my teeth to smile like that again. 

Rachael Yamagata At The Esplanade

I've been waiting for videos that I was sure other people took of the concert, just cos I was a cheapo and bought the seats that were higher up hehe (and therefore could see all the diehard fans who splurged on expensive tickets to sit in the good seats and spent the whole concert recording all her songs). Finally found a great quality video (kudos to you, vivthegreat!) It was a truly beautiful recital, and I am fresh from catching Death Cab for Cutie yesterday at Fort Canning, and therefore can safely say that Rachael is a great performer. This video is great cos her voice cracks (she was apparently down with a cough) but she shrugged it off with such finesse and grace no one could hold it against her. Then she asked her bassist to sing the high notes for her while she harmonized. Amazing, amazing, amazing. That night I became my 15 year old self, singing her songs with all the lovelorn angst only a 15 year old can have. 

Gather Up Your Tears, Keep Em In Your Pocket

Dear Cousin, 

This time last year you left us so suddenly, and now it has been a whole year, and you are still forever missed. Every time something reminds me of you, there is that constriction in my throat and the burning sting of tears. I'm sure you are in a better place, a heaven, if you will. How could you not be?? You remain one of the kindest, most generous and patient person I have ever known, always armed with a dimpled grin that was surely always infectious. If anything I wish we were closer, but you were always a big brother to me. You were the one who brought me and my girlfriends into members at Zouk when it was my first time clubbing there, and you bought us drinks but shooed us home when we got too tipsy. You encouraged me reading graphic novels, giving me great ones such as Persepolis to read. You let us girl cousins come over and win you at Wii and Raving Rabbids, you never got angry with us, despite the constant teasing we showered upon you at every Chinese New Year Dinner. You were a great cousin, a great brother, a great uncle, a great friend and most importantly a great son to your parents. You were a great man. Even when I was a kid and you were a teenager a whole 10 years older than me, I'll never forget how you always had time to answer my incessant questions, and gave me your Archie comics in the stacks. You have a special place in my heart, always and always, cousin. 

10 July 1979 - 18 December 2010

In Loving Memory